What critics will make of Bob Dylan’s next three albums.


Here Comes Stonking Bob
An album of novelty song covers

“The masterful juxtaposition of Dylan – the most eminently serious musician of the last half-century – with the absurdity of Mr Blobby is superb.” The Guardian

“I wept as he choked his way through Bob The Builder. Can he fix it? The answer for this reviewer could not be more positive if he had wired up his head to the nobbly end of a battery.” Pitchfork

“Those of a sharp eye may wonder if Rachmaninov’s Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini is actually a novelty song. But does that even matter when you’ve got Bob Dylan’s throaty warble so warmly caressing every note? The most underrated phrasing in the world, backed by the most underrated instrument in the world – the kazoo.” Rolling Stone


Bob Dylan’s #747 Dream
An album of jet impressions

“Ever since 1970’s Self Portrait flummoxed narrow-minded fans, Robert Zimmerman has been pushing his adoring public to examine music in its most fundamental form. This is a marvellously simple record. Eleven tracks of grating, whining growl rising in pitch and volume. Basic. And brilliant.” The Times

“It is a hard-hearted listener who doesn’t have their heart broken by Dylan’s portrayal of his non-stop touring through engine noises. The pain of the musical process is in every interminable groan and screech. Mystical in its force.” Mojo

“Bob’s decision to sell the songs for use on commercials for an airline and an oil company are clearly an inspired political statement. This is an album of huge import to the ecology movement. Every almost unbearable shriek is made for our children and our children’s children.” Uncut


Bob Dylan Is Screaming For Fuck’s Sake Can You Not Hear This Shit?
Bob screams ‘What the fuck is wrong with you fucking idiots?’ for 77 minutes

“After 40 years (SUBS TO CHECK), Dylan remains able to push boundaries. And not just musical ones, this time. Amazing Dolby Wizz (tm) technology means that the listener can actually get the sensation of Bob urinating into his eye, every time he plays the CD. And that pee is nectar to the sinus.” The Word

“The fact that you can only purchase this record from Robert Mugabe for $10,000 (US) - placed in a box marked “For torture of political opponents” - is Dylan’s most loquacious political statement since Time Out Of Mind. You may not like it – but you can’t deny that it confronts you with its intellect.” Blender

“The best thing I have ever heard. Really. It is a return to form.” Every Bob Dylan fan, again