| 2010/New Musical Movements |
| Written by Shabby Culture |
| Monday, 08 February 2010 12:30 |
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 Clownstep? That’s sooo Noughties. New decade, new battlelines. Our hip-detector Berens de Louse takes the cultural temperature and gives you the skinny on the pimpest new musical movements.HOBO POMO ROMO Recession-driven Seasick Steve-style travelling blues is given an 80s production sheen and a knowing edge. Dance in your dumpsters, hipster kids. Bands: Casio Tramp, Thomas Dolby's Vomit-Stained Shoes BRRRRAP Gangsta hip-hop driven by the recent cold spell. Gangsta lyrics are shivered rather than spat. Terminology has altered. 'Popping a cap on yo head' and 'bring the heat down' are friendly gestures. 'Slinging rocks' is putting stones in snowballs. Bands: N-n-n-n-niggaz without a snood, D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d and Snow dogg. 'n' A precise mix of rhythm and blues. To be considered 'n', practitioners must stick to a formula: n=R+B. Thus, for every rhythm, musical boffins must add a blue. Thought to be short-lived because the musical pedants are unable to stop arguments over whether it should actually be called '&', 'n', ''n'' or 'n''. Bands: Able Was I Ere I Saw Elba, MM, & & the ampersands POST MINIMAL MAXIMAL Grime burps its last in the face of Dubstep trip-slipping into the (bargain) bass bins of cultural relevance. There's so much noise in these bands, you can't distinguish between the noises - which is how they like it. The scene is mainly found in Club Nax in Purley, but the sound is slipping into Sanderstead and Wallington. Bands: CHK-Stock, Straight Out The Cronx, Glibchimps DON’T ACTUALLY EXIST YET A handful of bands yet to form or write songs we've heard a rumour will be shaking the pages of the better-informed broadsheets in a posthumous attempt at getting ahead of a pack going in the wrong direction. Bands: Emp No-Clothez, Wonderful Misdirects, My Pal Dave TWEEDIE Straight out of the Twickenham shires comes a folky, rural take on indie, characterised by accents forged by a few pints of Strongbow after a tense Six Nations rubber and attire that's a fresh take on the latest Horse and Hounds spread (might wear motorcycle boots instead of hunting ones). Bands: Jonah And The Ark, It's OK We'll Sack Dad Before The Second Album, Holiday By Mistake and Two Girls Who Left Jonah And The Ark When They Realised They Were Saps COR CORE A kind of neo Oi! which sees bands reading Garry Bushell's columns over angular guitars. Bands: The Cors, The Caws and The Cause SADCART A variety of music that grew up from the ballads played on hospital dramas when a character has died. So lucrative was the money from TV companies that a cottage industry has been built up with its own submovements. Bleep Sadcart are people who incorporate the flatline sound within the unbearably tragic song. Sadheart bears the chance that the patient may reawake. Bands: The Fry ('The Godfathers of Sadcart'), Bouncer's Gone, Deadly Dead and The Deadingtons Previous Success 3
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